When you're a superhero, pretty much every scene starts off with fetish outfits, but that alone isn't creepy enough to make this list of the weirdest, most awkward and outright disturbing sex scenes in comic book movie history. Prepare yourself, because all the rock hard abs and busty babes in the world ain't enough to make THESE scenes sexy...If you're solely looking for a list of superhero movies this might not be the place for you, haha.
Just as an example: how about that Dr Manhattan sex scene, huh? Yeah. Weird.
Here's the deal - superhero sex (or super hero sex if that's how you want to spell it) is innately weird because they're superheroes. Let's all just deal with it for 4 1/2 seconds and enjoy this list.
http://www.ranker.com/list/10-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-superhero-movies/davehoward,
Batman
Daredevil
Dick Tracy
Howard the Duck
Hulk
Superman II
Kevin Smith wasn't the only person who wondered about Superman's sex life. Every comic book-loving kid with a Y-Chromosome has speculated on the... shall we say "explosive" possibilities of Superman's sun-powered loins actually getting it on with a human female. At the risk of sounding crude, the popular belief was that things would not go well for the poor lady when Superman was finished.
So what actually happens in Superman II when Kal-El finally beds the girl of his dreams? Well, aside from the disappointment that it all happens off-camera (sure, we understand why, but come on... we're all thinking it) Superman's first night of coital bliss - quite probably EVER - is followed by a heart-to-heart with his Dad about it the very next morning. In front of his girlfriend.
As if that wasn't awkward enough - and frankly it really should be - Superman then decides to give up his identity and everything that makes him unique and special in order to be with the first girl he's ever laid. Dude, seriously, we know you're inexperienced, but you gotta give the relationship a little room to breathe. She's a hard-nosed reporter who only loved you after she found out you were Superman... maybe you don't want to settle down with her just yet! Sad. Just...
Just sad.
Also, he appears to have taken Lois to the North Pole and then let her walk around scantily clad. Not very considerate, pal. It's freakin' COLD up there! Maybe you could loan her a bathrobe and some fuzzy slippers or something?!
Blankman
Blankman is what one would traditionally consider a "bad movie." Damon Wayans starred as an unrealistically sheltered idiot savant who puts on a costume embarrassingly bad by even the most forgiving of cosplay standards and fights crime in a series of unfunny and often bizarrely sexualized set pieces.
The piece de resistance? This scene, in which Blankman gets what is apparently his first erection, and ostensibly his first orgasm, and reacts like some kind of supervillain has taken control of his body. Somehow his freakish, high-pitched screams are made even more disturbing by his strenuous attempts to control his crotch.
Somehow, this display of immature perversion actually makes love interest Robin Givens MORE attracted to Blankman. Apparently there really is somebody out there for everyone, unlike this film, which was made with nobody in mind. It's so silly it could only appeal to children, but way too perverse to actually show them.
So what were the filmmakers thinking? We're guessing their minds were blank... man.
The Return of Swamp Thing
Why can't men be more like plants? I mean, you can stroke a plant and it doesn't get the wrong idea."
That's Heather Locklear in Return of The Swamp Thing, in which she apparently wants to stroke men without exciting them sexually. As we soon learn in the course of this film, a young Heather Locklear couldn't even stroke a PLANT without exciting it sexually. But then, she's pretty content with that last part, like at the end of this trailer when Swamp Thing rather astutely points out, "I can't give you the kind of love you want."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a plant."
"That's okay, I'm a vegetarian."
Then they have sex in one of the oddest love scenes in film history. Heather Locklear literally eats parts of Swamp Thing's body while dreaming of humping some normal-looking guy. It's the kind of sex scene that could warp you for life, and in our case very much did. If this is what kind of erotica movies you're into....I'm sorry.
Watchmen
There are several creepy sex scenes in Zack Snyder's The Watchmen, from the rape of the first Silk Spectre to Doctor Manhattan's attempted four-way with the new Silk Spectre, but nothing was as cringe-inducing as the Nite Owl's attempts to nail the new Silk Spectre (man, these Silk Spectres sure do seem to attract all the weirdos...).
Despite the fact that they've been dancing around an affair for God knows how long, and that the Nite Owl is clearly in love with her, and that the Silk Spectre is the one who actually jumps HIM for a change, the poor guy just can't seal the deal. Sure, it's a metaphor for his subconscious sense of failure for giving up on his true calling, but that doesn't take the sting off of the lovely young woman saying those two little words that no man likes to hear: "It's okay."
It's not okay, ladies. It sucks. And it's no less painful watching somebody else have the same problem.
Not that... You know, not that it's ever happened to US...
Kick Ass
Before he decides to put on a fetish outfit and running around beating people up with long sticks, "Kick Ass" spends his days dreaming about his well-endowed but not particularly attractive english teacher and making deposits in what he delightfully refers to as "the whack off warehouse." Honestly, we were all teenagers once. Or in our mid-twenties. Or our mid-thirties. Or what have you...
AHEM! Sorry, lost our train of thought. But director Matthew Vaughn places a surprising amount of emphasis on his hero's masturbatory habits, even in this trailer (00:28 - 00:42). Sympathetic? Perhaps, but unlike the similar j*****f scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he doesn't give us enough freeze-framable nudity to keep the sequence off of our list of the weirdest superhero sex scenes of all time.