If there's anything that the '80s gave us, it was gratuitous nudity in just about every single teen comedy that came out (Maybe we should have taken them as sexy lessons.). In honor of that tradition, here are the best '80s teen comedy nude scenes of all time, ranked by you for hotness. I described the movies, the context of the nude scenes, and then linked you out to the scenes when possible (although you can totally just Google all of them). From Phoebe Cates in Fast Times, to lesser-known gems like Hardbodies and Malibu Express, to even scenes from actually-good movies like Sixteen Candles, these are the best nude scenes in '80s teen comedy history.
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-20-greatest-nude-scenes-in-80s-movie-history/greg,
Revenge of the Nerds
The Movie
If there's one thing '80s movies taught kids, it's that if you invade a girl's privacy or sneak a peak of her squishy parts while she isn't looking, it is perfectly okay if you're with your friends. Squishy parts. Remember that one. It's yours now.
So Revenge of the Nerds, for those of you who were born after most of the actors' careers had taken a nosedive, is a movie that takes place in a time in which kids were stratified. It's before jocks tried to claim being nerds to seem bangable to girls, and it's before nerds were more popular than jocks since they're pretty good looking these days, anyway. Nerds looked like your grandpa when he tries to dress up nice and jocks hated the idea of being "smart." Nobody was happy.
In the movie the outcasts known as "Nerds" take revenge on their jock bullies and actually win girls, etc. The concept was so ridiculous at the time that it was a kind of high concept when the movie came out.
The Scene
Anyway, there's a scene where the nerds sneak into the dorms of some super hot girls and set up hidden cameras to see them change, which is insanely rape-y and horrible by today's standards, but is more of a "boys will be boys" thing to do when you live in an 80s movie.
This scene is one of the most surprising turns that a comedy like this ever took because you really didn't come to expect it from a movie like this. Hell, you didn't really come to expect it from any comedies until around this time in the 80s. There must have been so many outraged parents returning video tapes and yelling at dudes who didn't approve of the films they were renting <--- sh*t like this is why Kevin Smith is famous.
Here's the scene.
Bachelor Party
The Movie
A Tom Hanks movie where a bunch of rowdy 80s dudes throw their best friend a bachelor party. It seriously is one of the top 10 movie parties I wish I could have been to.
The Scene
Tom Hanks tries to get away from all the rowdy dudes when a hot girl, Monique Gabrielle, comes out from behind curtains with a ridiculously perfect body. She's topless and as she looks at him, her head turns into his girlfriend, a nun from school, and eventually, his buddies. It's actually pretty funny. But hey, boobs the whole time.
Here's the scene.
Blame It on Rio
The Movie
Blame It On Rio is about two really f*cking horrible guys who bring their insanely hot daughters (a young Demi Moore and Michelle Johnson) on a vacation to Rio de Janeiro with them. After they catch their daughters playing topless in the ocean, one dad gets super pissed and the other plays with them, ends up banging his friend's daughter –which is okay, because it turns out his friend was banging his wife the whole time. Demi Moore kind of stays out of the whole thing. The hot girl (Michelle Johnson) tries to kill herself by overdosing on birth control (which you can't even do) and everyone lives happily ever after.
The Scene
A barely legal Michelle Johnson and a 22-year-old Demi Moore play on a beach topless and are then caught by their dads, but refuse to put their clothes back on. Whoever wrote this has some weird, awesome problems.
Check it out here.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
I don't have to tell you what this movie is about (it's easily one of the Best Stoner Movies of All Time) and you know exactly what scene I'm talking about. If you don't, then here it is. That's Phoebe Cates.
She's married to Kevin Klein, looks like this now, and is one of the hottest, if not the hottest girl the '80s had to offer. And she took her clothes off all over the place. The 80s was a great place to live – everything was cheesier, from the most ridiculous WWF wrestling promos ever (and these were supposed to be tough guys), to pictures of Michael Jackson punching Mr. T, to even cartoon theme songs that make great guitar solos.
But Phoebe Cates in her teens/20s was one of the greatest parts of the '80s, and this is still considered one of the most ruined orgasm scenes of all time.
She tops every one of these lists and with great reason. The mix of innocence and mischief in her eyes in every scene just steals the entire movie. She's always the main picture of stuff like video round-ups of hot girls getting out of pools and the like. And she deserves it.
I love you, Phoebe, if you're reading this. And if you are reading this, I want to thank you for your service to mankind in the '80s (and whatever charity work you're doing these days) because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a quick, no-thoughts-required answer for when a girlfriend asks for swimsuit input: "red just make it red it needs to be red I don't care if it's from Target just red no designs just as long as it's red please." Thank you.
See her and more at Mrskin.com
BONUS: A super hot, full frontal Jennifer Jason Leigh scene where she's making out with the guy who then disappoints her as she sits up all hot and bothered, still naked, and disappointed. A scene I think we can all relate to.
Mischief
The Movie
This movie has all of the tropes of a teen comedy, but happens to center around a clumsy guy trying to bang Kelly Preston, so pretty much everyone's on board from the beginning. Because a young Kelly Preston is stupid hot. Like, stupid hot.
The Scene
A young Kelly Preston is in lace lingerie ('80s lingerie is so weird) while the guy slowly undresses her. He takes off her bra, and you can seriously hear a football stadium full of dudes just cheering their asses off. She pulls off her underwear and boom, full frontal Kelly Preston, who then lies down and makes out with the guy for a few minutes. They have sex and it's awesome. He promises to pull out, then doesn't; but whatever, it's the '80s so it wasn't a big deal.
Watch it here.
Paradise
The Movie
It's a Blue Lagoon ripoff, only instead of getting shipwrecked, Phoebe Cates and the guy escaped from white-slave agent who captures them. They then spend a lot of time being naked.
The Scene
Phoebe Cates takes a shower in a waterfall. It's all you really need to know and it absolutely rules. You should watch it (the scene, the movie sucks).
Porky's
The Movie
Porky's is about a group of guys in the '50s who want to lose their virginities in a time in which guys not only admitted that they were virgins, but tried to fix that problem "together." There's a place called Porky's, though, where a lot of the hot girls are and a lot of the main characters are terrorized by the mean, fat, pig-looking owner named, you guessed it, Porky. As these guys awkwardly try and come up with plans to get laid, a lot of nudity happens, and you get bored when it stops. Then you rewind the tape until your parents know exactly what you're doing. There's no reason someone should be rewinding and playing a tape that often and that quickly unless they're trying to solve the mystery of the Kennedy assassination.
The Scene
The infamous Porky's shower scene. A bunch of guys find a hole that leads to the girls' locker room, and kind of like you hope for every time there's a hole in a wall of any bathroom stall, there's actually hot chicks on the other end. Full frontal and backal (which yes, is a word, according to me) nudity ensues and a lot of teenagers and kids even younger than that in the '80s saw their first bush, boob and/or group of women showering together. Many more would follow for all of us.
The notable part of this scene is that it was the first gratuitous nudity most people had seen in a really popular comedy (which actually dragged on for pretty long and wasn't even very funny). It was really just a huge mask for nudity. This movie is huge because of this scene and because the rest of its awesome nude scenes (including one starring a young Kim Cattrall, who only gets hotter as she gets older).
This movie was largely nudity masked in fun, which was an awesome discovery for anyone who saw it. It's kind of like when you pour alcohol inside a juice box or a Vitamin water and bring it into your kids' plays or Disneyland. All of you do this.
Here it is.
Private School
The Movie
Phoebe Cates tries to score a really WASPy rich dude while a super hot girl teases everyone in the movie. Shower scenes happen.
The Scene(s): Some more dudes spy on a girl when she thinks she's safe and take pictures with the flash turned off. They use a polaroid, which was common then, but today would be a hipster thing to do. She notices them in the mirror and decides to give them a show until they pull her towel off. The girls aren't super freaked out, but kind of happy about it for some reason. Phoebe Cates is in her underwear throughout.
The main hot girl in the movie is former hottie Betsy Russell who spends the whole time teasing dudes. She also rides a horse topless in the movie. Old ladies disapprove. People go nuts and there are apparently, once again, no nudity laws in public in the 80s.
Why not check it out here.
Risky Business
The Movie:
I could not have watched this movie more as a kid. If I would have, I'm sure my parents would have sent me to some kind of psychiatrist (which, in retrospect, would have been a good decision, which means that yes, all kids should watch this movie at least 50 times *sobbing* "No dad I don't want to see it again!" "This is for your own good, junior...").
The movie is about a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise as a teenager who tries to have some fun while his parents are away. Everything is prim and proper and perfect in his home, but as soon as they leave, you get that infamous scene of him dancing in his underwear indoors pretending to be a rockstar, which to some kids, will resonate more if I say "like that Heidi Klum Guitar Hero (RIP) commercial where she dances in her underwear in a living room.
The Scene(s)
He proceeds to meet this vaguely Russian woman, played by a still-relevant Rebecca De Mornay, who treats him like crap but has sex with him throughout the entire movie. She's the one you see naked all over the place and it is awesome. It makes you want a dangerous, emotionally unavailable blonde woman of your very own... wait. This explains a lot. This explains a lot. But life changing revelations aside, the scenes are pretty awesome. Repeatedly. All the time. The train scene (where they have sex on a train) is particularly something that was etched into my brain as a wee lad, because I couldn't believe how poorly maintained the lights were on that thing. That's just irresponsible.
Check it out here.
Trading Places
The Movie
A 1%er (Dan Aykroyd) trades places with a homeless guy (Eddie Murphy) trade places because two rich old guys make a bet about how it will turn out. Hilarity ensues, and Jamie Lee Curtis takes her top off.
The Scene
Jamie Lee Curtis plays a prostitute who seems smarter than any other woman in the movie. She lets Dan Aykroyd stay at her place in exchange for, you guessed it, money, once he's rich again. The scene where she's changing and casually walks around topless showed everyone that at some point, Jamie Lee Curtis was super hot. Even with that hair.
Check it out here.